A secure attachment in a relationship, which is extremely nourishing to our feminine bodies and nervous systems, comes from a partnership between two equals.
The woman in us leads by honoring her feminine needs and expressing herself with openness and confidence that her needs matter and then the man who is her equal steps up and cherishes her needs as well.
At the same time, she is aware that her longing for presence, warmth, and loving attention is being filled by meeting her own heart with tenderness and care. She doesn´t expect her partner to parent her and respects and understands his needs as well.
He is being met by a grown-up woman who honors her needs and expresses them in a way that feels good and like he can win with her instead of a hurt little child who pouts and whines because she assumes people are withholding things from her.
In a healthy relationship, your partner matches your level of effort, commitment, and readiness.
Getting back
in touch with their feminine body and needs and learning and practicing
secure attachments in relationships is the process I teach women daily (in the
self-study portal The Sanctuary and private sessions).
Firstly, a woman wants to learn to understand her “inner landscape” and all the cues she is receiving from her body through her emotions, sensations, and feelings. Safety and consistency are a FELT experience. The presence of an empowered man/partner is being FELT in our body.
A woman wants to gradually and safely learn to descend into her body, with the help of gentle somatic work, to start cultivating discernment around what type of partner she wants to allow into her life and what type of offers she is available to.
Stress responses that she hasn´t tended to and processed keep her in a cycle of analyzing herself, the relationship, or the man and she never gets the clarity she is seeking from analyzing or perfecting herself. Those are simply sneaky coping mechanisms that her mind created as a means of finding safety.
What she truly needs to restore her relationship with herself is to practice cultivating a sense of safety and home in her body. That is where true certainty and clarity come from.
You can start exploring the realms of healthy relationships today with my free guide and masterclass.